MFEla

Author: Ela Selam

  • Ten things I do for my mental health whilst living abroad!

     I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a thousand times over: doing a year abroad is not easy, and I’ve learnt that first hand. When you’re in a foreign country with strange customs and unfamiliar faces, it’s normal to feel anxious, or that you simply want to go home! There are countless situations you have to learn to navigate, from administrative tasks like opening a bank account to social interactions in another language, and it can be a very isolating experience. I’m not at all saying that a year abroad isn’t worthwhile, because it is, but there’s more to it than people often assume. After two months of living in Switzerland as an exchange student, I’ve compiled this list of things I do to take care of myself when I feel down.
    Note: Many of these tips might sound cliché, but they have personally helped me. I also appreciate that some are easier said than done, especially when you’re feeling unmotivated.

    Journaling
    I’ve been keeping a journal since I was 16 and kept many diaries on and off before that, because I believe they have many benefits. When I face a dilemma or I’ve had a bad day, writing about it in my journal feels like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. While journaling can’t solve all of life’s problems, I find it a helpful way to process thoughts and see them more clearly. Another reason I love journaling is that I can revisit old entries and see how I’ve changed. Sometimes I find them a bit cringe, but I try to look at them positively and reflect on how much I’ve grown emotionally since then. Living in Switzerland has only increased my desire to journal, because I know that I’ll one day look back and recognise how this experience has made me more resilient. If you’re new to journaling, try starting with a page each night about your day and feelings. Once it becomes a habit, you can add monthly reflections, gratitude entries, or whatever feels right for you.

    Give myself ‘missions’
    An issue that a lot of people who are studying or working abroad face, is having more free time than they know what to do with. I’m certainly finding this to be true, as I only have classes three days a week, leaving me with lots of free time. To combat this, I set myself ‘missions’, as I like to call them. What I mean by this is I try to find something to do to get me out of the house each day. These missions don’t have to be anything big – for example, today my mission was to go to Lidl and then to the post office to send some cards. I like doing this because even if the only thing I did today was the mission, at least I can say that I did something with my day.

    Learn about something
    I’ve always been a very curious person – my family will be the first to tell you that my favourite word as a child was “why?”, which is why I like this tip so much. Learning about something can come in many different forms, but the one that’s the most dynamic, and could even double as a ‘mission’, is going to a museum, of which there are many in Geneva. Most recently, I stumbled across the Musée d’Ethnographie, where I learned all about colonisation and Switzerland’s role in it, which I found fascinating. I don’t always have the time or energy to do this, so sometimes it can even be going down a Google rabbit hole of a subject I’ve always wanted to learn about. For example, one sleepless night, I discovered that “denim” comes from “de Nîmes” (from Nîmes) and “jeans” from “Gênes” (Genoa), referring to where they originally came from! Other times, I enjoy listening to podcasts as they provide both education and the comfort of someone talking to me.

    Do things for my future self
    How many times have you written down a list of jobs you need to do, and then told yourself “I’ll do that later” or “I’ll do that one tomorrow” because you couldn’t be bothered? For me, it happens far too often, but this rule means that I defy that inner voice. The habit of putting tasks off erodes self-trust and frustrates your future self since you’re teaching your brain that you lack willpower. I practised this rule today, because I remembered I had to make myself some dinner to take with me to university tomorrow, and my first thought was “I’ll do it later”. I then realised I wasn’t doing anything at the time, and therefore had no valid reason to procrastinate. In retrospect, I’m glad that I did, because now I have a relaxing evening where I’ve already done everything in preparation for tomorrow!

    Have things to look forward to
    I find this to be especially relevant in the Winter months when the days are cold and dark, because all I feel like doing is crawling into bed and never getting out. Seasonal depression can get the better of us, and I find that depressive episodes fester when you’re in a pessimistic mindset and you forget that it’s only temporary. This is why I try to have things to look forward to, so I can remind myself that there are things in my life that are worth ‘sticking it all out’ for. The thing that I’m looking forward to the most right now, is the day when I can fly home for Christmas, and I can finally spend quality time with my friends and family. This Friday, it’ll be 5 weeks until that day so it’s a big countdown clock in my head. To make this waiting even more bearable, I’ve just booked trips to Bern and Milan! Whenever I feel anxious or sad, I remind myself that these exciting moments are coming.

    Look for the positive
    If I had a Swiss franc for every time I’ve been told this, or something to the same effect, the cost of living in Geneva wouldn’t be bothering me. It’s a prime example of something that is much easier said than done, but I try my best to put a positive spin on my negative thoughts. When I miss my family, I tell myself that it’s a privilege to have people I love so much. When university stresses me out, I reflect on how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to study here. When I want to go home, I think about Switzerland’s beauty and all there is to explore. It’s not always easy, but I remind myself how valuable this experience is for my personal and linguistic growth, despite the fact it isn’t always peachy.

    Reach out
    At first, I felt embarrassed to admit to my loved ones that I was struggling, because A. I didn’t want to worry them, and B. I felt as though I was letting people down who believed I would thrive here. I soon realised that my loved ones want to support me. Besides family and friends, my teachers from Lancaster have also been incredibly supportive. Still, I try not to live my life on my phone; I make efforts to connect with people here too. Whether it’s messaging a classmate to grab a coffee or going to GoSocial events, I remind myself that there are others in the same boat as me. I approach these events with the mindset of having a new experience rather than expecting to make lifelong friendships, because I know that not everyone you meet will be a friend for life. This, however, isn’t to say that they aren’t valuable experiences.

    Do things that automatically bring me joy
    Everyone has something that brings them joy, and for me, it’s starting the day with a coffee and ending the day with an episode of one of my comfort shows. This isn’t necessary, but it’s good that they were already in my routine back home to bring me a sense of stability. For you, it could be reading your favourite book, listening to songs you love, gaming, the gym, anything! Whatever it is, as long as it makes you happy and relaxed, embrace it.

    Get moving
    As someone who isn’t a big fan of exercise, I used to roll my eyes at the suggestion of physical activity for mental health. I’m not talking about going to the gym every day, though. I’m talking about finding something that you enjoy to get your blood flowing, since you aren’t going to want to stick to something you don’t like. I’ve personally set myself a target of trying to walk at least 6,000 steps every day, because I realised that I actually enjoy going on walks to clear my head. I also bought a yoga mat on a whim a few weeks ago, so I’ve been following yoga tutorials online when I wake up. Something else that I do, which also counts as me doing something for my future self, is I unroll the yoga mat before I go to sleep and put it next to my bed. The routines aren’t difficult – they mostly consist of body stretches to wake me up, but I find that it helps me to feel more energised throughout the day. Small actions like these boost both physical and mental wellbeing, two things we can easily neglect during tough times.

    Be kind to myself
    This is definitely the most important one for me, and something I’m still learning. When I first came to Switzerland, I found that I was holding myself to the same standards I was when I was studying in the UK, and I later realised that I shouldn’t be; moving to a new country is an enormous change. I’d get frustrated if I got on the wrong bus, or I struggled in class, until I started questioning my self-talk. I now try to challenge negative thoughts and overwrite them with “you’re just a human, trying your best”. Even if I don’t know everything, I simply cut myself a bit of slack because I know that I am just a human and I am trying my best in this new country. 

  • Welcome to my first post!

    It’s always hard to know what to write for a first post, so I’m starting with the backstory of why I started this blog.

    I’ve always enjoyed writing, whether it’s essays or letters, but I never did it very often. Usually, I only wrote if it was something assigned by school or university. I’m doing a modern languages degree, so I often have work to do in foreign languages, but I also have a lot of coursework in English. When I’m in my final year, I’ll be writing my dissertation in English, which surprises a lot of people. I tend to get very invested in my coursework, especially when it’s on a topic that interests me, but it isn’t quite the same as writing for pleasure.

    I’m part of a traditional music group in Stockport called Fosbrook Folk Education Trust, where I play the violin and tin whistle. In July this year, we were invited to do a performance at U-Dance festival in Liverpool, which was incredibly exciting. After the performance, I was asked to write an article for the English Folk Dance and Song Society (EFDSS) about our experience and our organisation. Apparently, they were specifically interested in me writing it. I had a lot of fun with the piece because, as I said, it was on a subject I’m passionate about. Liza, the director of our group, told me I’m a good writer and I should consider doing it more seriously in the future. That planted the idea, so here I am now – starting my own blog!

    Back to the present day: I’m currently sitting in a café in Geneva, sipping on an oat milk latte. I’m doing a year abroad as part of my language degree. I’d be lying if I said it’s been easy. Geneva is a beautiful city, and I’m studying at a world-class university, but sometimes it’s hard focus on that when I’m so far away from what I’m used to. I feel a bit like Esther Greenwood from The Bell Jar when she talks about how she was supposed to be having the time of her life. Don’t worry – I’m not planning anything as extreme as her, but I relate to the feeling of having everything you think you should want, yet still feeling unhappy.

    If you asked me why I feel this way, I couldn’t give you a straight answer. I know that a lot of my worries are trivial, but that’s the amazing thing about our brains: they love to work against us sometimes. For example, I’ve been feeling down about missing my friends and family back home. I know that’s a normal feeling when you’re in a different country, and I’ll be seeing them again in less than two months. Not to mention the fact that phones exist so I can still speak to them. Despite knowing this logically, it’s still hard emotionally.

    It hasn’t been all bad, though; I’ve been trying to do something called ‘romanticising my life’. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s about finding beauty in the mundane and treating yourself like you’re the protagonist of a film! It’s about looking for the good in everything, even on bad days. I’ve been incorporating this by going on walks, listening to my favourite music, taking in my surroundings, and fantasising about the great things I’ll accomplish each day. In fact, I’m doing it right now: sitting in a café, sipping my oat milk latte, scribbling down my thoughts and listening to calming piano music. I bet people are looking at me and wondering what I’m so deep in thought about! Of course, you can’t do it all the time – sometimes you’re just stuck in a rut – but I try to do it as often as I can, reminding myself that I’m in a good place. Some people have even told me they envy me for having this opportunity.

    Traduction Française 

    Il est toujours difficile de savoir quoi écrire pour son premier post, alors je vais commencer par raconter pourquoi j’ai décidé de créer ce blog.

    J’ai toujours aimé écrire, que ce soient des essais ou des lettres, mais je ne l’ai pas fait souvent. En général, j’écrivais seulement quand l’école ou l’université me le demandaient. Je fais un diplôme en langues modernes, donc je dois souvent travailler en langues étrangères, mais j’ai aussi beaucoup de travaux en anglais. Quand j’arriverai à ma dernière année, je rédigerai ma dissertation en anglais, ce qui surprend beaucoup de gens. J’ai tendance à m’investir énormément dans mes travaux, surtout lorsqu’il s’agit d’un sujet qui m’intéresse, mais ce n’est pas tout à fait la même chose qu’écrire pour le plaisir.

     Je suis membre d’un groupe de musique traditionnelle à Stockport, qui s’appelle le Fosbrook Folk Education Trust ou je joue du violon et du flutiau. En juillet de cette année, nous avons été invités à participer à une séance lors du U-Dance Festival à Liverpool, qui a été incroyablement excitant pour nous tous. Après cette séance, on m’a demandé d’écrire un article pour l’English Folk Dance and Song Society (EFDSS) sur notre expérience et notre organisation. Apparemment, ils voulaient spécifiquement que ce soit moi qui l’écrive. J’ai pris beaucoup de plaisir à écrire cet article, car, comme je l’ai dit, c’était sur un sujet qui me passionne. Liza, la directrice de notre groupe, m’a dit que j’étais une bonne écrivaine et que je devrais envisager l’écriture plus sérieusement a l’avenir. Cela m’a donnée l’idée de créer mon propre blog, et me voilà !

    Revenons-en à aujourd’hui : je suis en ce moment assise dans un café à Genève, en train de siroter un latte au lait d’avoine. Je fais une année a l’étranger dans le cadre de mon diplôme en langues. Dire que tout s’est passé facilement serait un mensonge. Genève est une ville magnifique et l’université ou j’étudie est prestigieuse, mais c’est parfois difficile de me concentrer sur ces aspects quand je suis si loin de tout ce à quoi je suis habituée. Je me sens un peu comme Esther Greenwood de La Cloche de Détresse quand elle parle du fait qu’elle devrait être en train de vivre le moment le plus heureux de sa vie. Ne t’inquiète pas – je ne prévois rien d’aussi extrême qu’elle, mais je m’identifie au sentiment d’avoir tout ce qu’on pense devoir désirer, tout en se sentant malgré tout insatisfaite.

    Si on me demandait pourquoi je me sens comme ça, je serais incapable de donner une réponse claire. Je sais que beaucoup de mes soucis sont insignifiants, mais c’est la particularité de nos cerveaux : ils adorent parfois jouer contre nous. Par exemple, je me sens mal, car mes amis et ma famille chez moi me manquent. Je sais que c’est un sentiment typique quand on est dans un pays étranger, et que je les reverrai à nouveau dans moins de deux mois. Sans parler du fait que, grâce aux téléphones portables, je peux toujours leur parler. Même si je le sais rationnellement, cela reste émotionnellement difficile.

    Cependant, ce n’est pas si mal : j’essaie d’adopter quelque chose qu’on appelle « romantiser la vie ». Si tu n’en as jamais entendu parler, il s’agit de trouver de la beauté dans le quotidien et de te considérer comme le protagoniste de ton propre film ! Cela consiste à chercher le positif dans tout, même pendant les jours difficiles. Je l’ai intégré en me promenant, en écoutant mes chansons préférées, en m’imprégnant de mon environnement et en imaginant toutes les bonnes choses que je vais accomplir chaque jour. En fait, c’est ce que je fais en ce moment même : assise dans un café, sirotant mon latte au lait d’avoine, griffonnant mes pensées et écoutant une douce musique de piano. J’imagine les gens me regardant et se demandant ce pour quoi je suis si perdue dans mes pensées ! Ce n’est pas possible de faire ça tout le temps, bien sûr- parfois, on est juste pris dans la routine. Mais j’essaie de le faire autant que je peux, en me rappelant que je suis à un bon moment de ma vie. Certains m’ont même dit qu’ils envient mon opportunité.

    ​Written and translated by Ela Selam